


So What Now?

by Ellsey



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst, Declarations Of Love, F/M, Post-Episode: s03e22 Ascension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-09
Updated: 2020-03-09
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:26:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23083186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ellsey/pseuds/Ellsey
Summary: Dealing with the aftermaths of Lincoln's sacrifice, Jemma Simmons has a lot on her mind.
Relationships: Leo Fitz/Jemma Simmons
Comments: 4
Kudos: 57





	So What Now?

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sure this has been done before, but great ideas deserve to be repeated, yes? Anyway after I watched "Ascension" and then started season 4, I remembered how unhappy I was that I missed Fitzsimmons's first "I love you." So I decided to create my own!

“So what now?”

Jemma Simmons couldn’t hold back the tears that were flowing from her eyes. Seeing the explosion...knowing Lincoln was in the jet with Hive...it was almost too much to bear.

Daisy had crumpled into a heap of tears after realizing that begging Coulson was not going to bring Lincoln back. She was still there, weeping on the floor.

Fitz was staring at Jemma as if he didn’t want to take his eyes off her. Jemma imagined that he was thinking many of the same things she was. Like how easily that could have been them. Their relationship was new and fun and even better than she had imagined it could be, but they had also resisted those three little words that meant so much. She wasn’t even sure why. Maybe it was because love was so infused in everything they did. There was no need to say it out loud. Not until now.

Jemma heard Coulson take a deep breath and exhale very slowly. She looked and saw that his eyes were closed. He looked tired. More tired than a person should ever look. When he opened his eyes, Jemma saw just a hint of tears forming there as well.

“May,” Coulson said in a quiet voice,”can you please get us home as quickly as possible?”

May just nodded. The pain of what happened was evident on her face. Jemma couldn’t help but be struck by that. May was never one to show her emotions, but within the past few days she had lost so much. Jemma supposed there were limits to what even the great Melinda May could take.

“Mack,” Coulson said as he turned toward the tall man. “Could you please help Daisy to find a quiet place to rest until we land?”

“Of course,” Mack said with a nod. He walked over to Daisy and bent down to her level. “Tremors, let’s get you somewhere more comfortable.” No response. “Can you stand?” Still nothing but wails. Mack then scooped up Daisy and carried her down the hall. 

“Simmons, do you have anything to sedate Daisy?” Coulson asked her.

Jemma just nodded in response.

Coulson sighed. “I’m afraid we’re going to need it. Go see if you can help Mack.”   
  


Fitz quickly cut in before Coulson could say anything else. “I’ll go help Jemma.”

Coulson gave him an appraising look. “No, Fitz. I need you to check and make sure those primatives didn’t do any serious harm to any of the systems we need to get home. Or land.”

Fitz just stood there, looking at Jemma. She wanted to run to him, grab him, and never let go. They hadn’t told Coulson about the change in their relationship status. Of course they hadn’t. There had never been time. Plus Jemma enjoyed having something that was just between them. Something they weren’t sharing with the entire base. She loved her Shield family, she really did, but she wasn’t ready for everyone to know about all of this just yet. 

She could see Coulson in her peripheral vision, looking from her to Fitz. Their faces must have given them away, because a look of comprehension passed over his face.

“I’m sorry,” Coulson said quietly, “but I really need your help right now Fitz.”

Fitz finally broke eye contact with Jemma to look at Coulson. “Sure,” Fitz said with a nod. “See you soon Jemma.”

Jemma turned quickly to find Mack and Daisy. She could feel her grief and anxiety settling over her like a weight. It all threatened to overwhelm her, so she pushed it away into that little box like her dad had taught her. A couple cleansing breaths later, she was ready to go.

Mack had Daisy laying on a bed, but she was still weeping heavily, calling out Lincoln’s name. Mack was trying to sooth her, holding her hand and talking quietly to her, but it didn’t seem to be helping much. He turned his face to Jemma when she came in. He looked bewildered and sad.

Jemma put her medical kit on a table and found a sedative. 

“Daisy,” she said, “I’m going to give you something so you can rest. I think that’s the best thing to do for now.” Jemma had been trying to sound reassuring, but her voice sounded unnaturally loud to her.

Daisy didn’t respond, so Jemma prepared the injection. 

“Could you hold her arm still for me?” she asked Mack. He nodded and stilled the upper arm while Jemma cleaned the site and gave the injection. “It shouldn’t take too long to take effect,” she said, mostly for her own reassurance.

Mack just nodded and continued to hold Daisy’s hand. Within a few minutes she had calmed down and fallen asleep. Jemma watched her friend. It wasn’t fair. Daisy deserved all the happiness in the world. Why did she continue to lose people she loved? Ward had betrayed them. Her mother had tried to kill her. Her father had his mind wiped. And now Lincoln. When would it ever end?

Competing with this was the feeling of relief that Jemma and Fitz had both managed to survive. And of course that was followed by guilt because why should they be happy when Daisy and Lincoln couldn’t be?

As if he was reading her mind, Mack said, “Go and find Fitz. I’ll watch over Daisy. I’ll call you if I need you.”

Jemma wanted to say a lot of things in response, but could only manage a quiet, “Thank you.” She quickly turned and walked to find Fitz.

She didn’t have to go far before she turned a corner and almost ran into him. “Fitz,” she gasped.

He wrapped his arms around her. “I know,” he said.

The tears she had managed to stop earlier began to flow again in earnest. “I just can’t believe it. I can’t believe he’s really gone.”

Fitz didn’t say a thing. He just held her tightly, and she thought about how many times he had been there for her. How many times he had supported her and held her through hard times. How lucky she was to have him.

People often underestimated Fitz. They just saw him as a giant brain who could solve all their problems with technology. Sometimes they just saw him as an extension of the monolith that was Fitzsimmons, the super science team. He was so much more than that though. He had a quiet strength that permeated throughout everything he did. He was always so willing to share that strength with others, to give them the support they need. And Jemma needed that support now more than ever.

Jemma pulled away just a bit to look at Fitz. He had tears in his eyes as well. “I’m feeling like the worst friend right now,” she told him.

He looked surprised. “What makes you say that?”

“Because I can’t help feeling relieved that you and I are here, alive, and together.”

“I don’t think you need to feel bad about that,” he said. “It’s just natural.”

“Yeah, but it’s not fair.”

“No it’s not,” he agreed. “Nothing about this is fair.”

“Fitz, I need you to know something,” Jemma said, taking his face in her hands. “I love you. So much. I think I have for a long time really. I just didn’t understand. And then Maveth happened and I lost all hope and just…” She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to prevent the tears from overwhelming her. “I just need you to know you were never second best, not to Ward, not to Hydra, not to Will, not even to Milton even though I didn’t realize it at the time. You have always been the only one that matters, the only one who…”

Fitz quickly closed the distance between them and began to gently kiss Jemma. He pulled away slightly, placing his forehead against hers.

“I love you too, Jemma.”

Jemma gave a sad little laugh. “We really do pick the worst times to talk about things, don’t we?”

“I’m starting to think there never will be a good time for anything in our lives. But it doesn’t matter. No matter what happens I will always be there to help you pick up the pieces. We’re unstoppable together, yeah?”

“Unstoppable together,” Jemma agreed. She began to kiss Fitz with a bit more urgency this time until someone startled them by clearing their throat behind her. Jemma quickly jumped around, one arm still wrapped around Fitz, to see Coulson standing there.

“I just came to let you guys know that we have to land outside the base because the hanger doors are still broken, so you should probably find a safe place to sit in case things get rough,” he said with a small smile. “Also May says to tell you congratulations, but that you better not let this interfere with your work.”

Jemma and Fitz both laughed. “You can assure Agent May that we will uphold the most rigorous professional standards,” Jemma said.

“I expect nothing less. I’m just glad you two finally figured out what the rest of us have known this entire time,” Coulson said with a touch of smugness. His smile dropped some though as he seemed to remember what had just happened. He looked at them intently. “Really though, I am happy for you two.” He paused again, looking as if he wanted to add more, but he settled on clapping both of them on the shoulder. “Get ready for landing.”

Once they got back to the base, things were very hectic. So much needed to be done, but Jemma and Fitz never left each other’s sides. Finally Coulson told them to go get some rest.

“Stay with me tonight Jemma?” Fitz asked plaintively. “Please?”

Jemma gave a small laugh. “You couldn’t stop me from staying with you tonight. I’m not letting you out of my sight for a long time.”

As they finally got into bed, Fitz wrapped his arms tightly around Jemma. She snuggled into his chest, finally feeling safe again. Fitz’s breathing slowed down as he began to fall asleep.

“I love you Jemma,” he said sleepily.

“I love you too Fitz,” Jemma replied. With that she was finally able to relax. She knew tomorrow would be awful, but for now she was at rest.


End file.
